Some Nights
by surena-13
Summary: Being in a relationship with the most stubborn Admiral in the universe isn't always easy.


"A museum? I thought I specifically told you that I didn't want that to happen to _my_ ship," Kathryn said, almost hissed. Even now in her long, pink nightgown, Kathryn Janeway was a force to be reckoned with when she became angry. Her blue eyes were flashing, her auburn hair that she was growing out again was disheveled and she looked six feet tall despite her small frame, her hands on her hips as she towered over Laura. Laura took a deep breath and got up from the bed, giving her an inch over the other woman.

"Kathryn, I've told you this. They were either going to take it apart or turn it into a museum. I managed to sway the vote towards a museum. Voyager will continue to exist." That completely unnecessary debate with the admiralty had drained her. As the President she really didn't have the right to swing votes, especially when it concerned Starfleet, but she had fought tooth and nail to ensure that Voyager wouldn't be destroyed. She'd managed to throw it on cultural preservation, which was partly true. She hadn't mentioned that she was doing it for girlfriend as well.

"_She_," Kathryn countered, putting emphasis on the fact that once again Laura acted as if Voyager was a mere object and not something that had kept Kathryn and her crew alive for seven years. "is supposed to be between the stars with Tom at the helm and me in the Captain's seat. She isn't supposed to be stuck on island where strangers can come and look at her like some show dog."

"Voyager won't fly anymore. Kathryn, you have to understand this. The model is outdated. It wasn't a long term project to begin with. Starfleet won't allow anyone to fly her. Least of all you, now that you're an Admiral," Laura explained calmly, silently thanking her years of teaching children and her decade that had taught her to be patient and bite her tongue when necessary.

"A position that I never asked for," Kathryn snapped and started pacing. Laura nearly threw her hands up in frustration. They hadn't seen each other in five days. Kathryn had been away on some Starfleet diplomatic mission and she herself had been buried in paperwork while rushing from one meeting to the next. This wasn't how she had envisioned tonight would go.

"But that you accepted nonetheless. You're an Admiral now. Act like it, for your sake." The second after the words had left her mouth, Laura bit her bottom lip. She knew Kathryn well enough to have figured out what antagonized her. Talking to her in a tone that even resembled condescension would do the trick. Kathryn whirled around, practically seething.

"That's bullshit. You just want me to be the picture perfect Admiral, so I can be a woman worthy of being the President's partner." Laura closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She felt as if they had done this countless times already, the fighting. It honestly didn't matter what it was about. Despite their maturity and their years of dealing with pig-headed people, something between them just sparked and they couldn't resist lashing out at each other.

"Kathryn," she tried softly after she had taken a calming breath. The almost pleading tone had helped before during their arguments, but now it only seemed to anger Kathryn further. If one doubted how a small Captain like her had been able to survive in a hostile and unknown territory, they clearly had never seen Kathryn when she was furious. They would tremble in fear.

"Don't Kathryn me, Laura. You know it's true." Laura pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. She could only stay polite and understanding for so long.

"You know what? Fine, if you want to be like this, go ahead. I thought I did you a favor by not letting your ship be torn apart, but if you're going to act like this, I'm not going stay here," Laura said, having run out of patience and self-control, and grabbed her short robe from the back of the bed and slipped it on. It was too short to serve any real purpose other than to conceal her even skimpier negligee. Even if this was her home, she wasn't going to prance around in her lingerie.

"Where are you going to go? It's your apartment."

"It's a large apartment," Laura shot back and walked out of the bedroom, annoyed with the fact that ever since she had moved, her doors were automated which left her with no possibilities to slam the door behind her. The sound of the door sliding shut behind her really didn't give her any satisfaction or a proper way to vent some of her irritation with the woman currently on the other side of the door.

Stupid, stubborn woman.

She pulled the thin silk robe tighter around her body, wishing she'd had the clarity of mind to grab her thicker and more comfortable robe instead of this thing that was only meant to entice and not to keep her warm. It would have to do for now. She wasn't going back into their bedroom, not until Kathryn stopped acting like an indignant child. Sometimes it was just glaringly obvious that Kathryn had been without a someone to give her orders for seven years. Sometimes she forgot that she wasn't the highest authority anymore.

Crossing the apartment Laura went into the kitchen and retrieved her guilty pleasure from a top shelf from one of the cabinets. The metal case felt cool and familiar in her hand even if it had been months since she had last found the need to do this. Standing up on her toes she reached for the lighter. Kathryn knew about this, but somehow she still wanted to hide it. Cigarettes, a vice that humans had learned to give up decades ago, and yet as the president of the federation on Earth she still used it as a stress-reliever.

With the case in the lighter in her hand, she made her way out to the balcony, shivering when the cool breeze of the summer night brushed against her bare legs. It was a clear night in San Francisco, beautiful, really, but Laura couldn't appreciate it, not tonight. All she wanted was a smoke and to not think of the former captain of Voyager currently holed up in the bedroom, hopefully blowing off some steam, regaining some of her senses.

She took a steadying breath before taking a cigarette out of the case and placing it between her lips. Laura flicked the lighter a few times before it caught and she lit the cigarette. She inhaled deeply and the smoke filled her lungs. She could feel her muscles relaxing. A part of the tension she had been carrying around left her body when she exhaled, smoke curling around her. She had missed smoking. She was almost tempted to pick it up again full time.

Out of all the people in the entire federation she would have to fall for someone as stubborn and single-minded as Kathryn Janeway, possibly the only person who rivaled her own pig-headedness. But she loved her. It was something that had taken them both by surprise when they finally realized it. After a few failed relationships and an affair that had ended in a disaster and almost a political scandal, Laura hadn't expected to fall in love.

But their fights, however infrequent they were, emotionally drained her. They always seemed so intent on hurting each other as much as possible whenever they had an argument, even when they always regretted it afterwards, like they had the inability to stop once they got started.

Laura leaned her head back against the glass door, taking another long drag from her cigarette as she closed her eyes, softly shaking her head. She had an early meeting in the morning. She did not want to go to bed with a headache and an angry girlfriend in the bedroom, but she couldn't wait until Kathryn set aside her stubbornness. Maybe she'd just sleep in the guestroom tonight.

She understood what Kathryn was going through. Of course it was difficult saying goodbye to the ship that had kept the Captain and her crew alive for seven years and had brought her home. It was practically a person to Kathryn and not an object. And Laura knew that Kathryn would rather be between the stars on Voyager instead of stuck at a desk watching as her ship became a museum.

She understood that, she did and if she could have stopped it, if she could have persuaded Starfleet to not take Voyager out of commission, she would have. She had done all she could. The ship would stay in one piece and it would keep the legacy of the famous lost ship alive for decades. She had known Kathryn wouldn't be happy, but she hadn't expected this outburst. Maybe she should have.

Pushing the cigarette out against the cool tile of the balcony, Laura immediately retrieved a second cigarette and lit it. She was too wound up to be able to go to bed now. She looked at the cigarette case. Only four left. She'd have to go hunting for a new pack soon. They were damn near impossible to find these days. There wasn't even a replicator pattern for them.

She walked over to the railing of the balcony and looked down. Being in her position came with the means to have a penthouse apartment in San Francisco with undoubtedly one of the best views of the city. Staring down at the street so far below her, it calmed her. With the cigarette dangling between her lips and sounds of the night she could almost forget all of her worries.

A pair of arms encircled her waist and she felt a body being pressed against her back and a chin resting on her shoulder. Laura smiled and plucked the cigarette from her lips, exhaling the smoke that had still been in her lungs. "You're lucky I'm not a jealous woman, otherwise I'd have to launch a few photon torpedoes at this city just for seeing you dressed like this."

"Just throw them out of an airlock. It leaves less of a mess," Laura retorted before she turned around and faced the woman. Kathryn chuckled softly and grinned that all too familiar crooked grin of hers that Laura adored, but it quickly disappeared when she smelled the smoke and it was replaced by a grimace. She'd always hated it when Laura smoked. She took the cigarette from Laura's fingers and flicked it off the balcony with ease.

"Hey, I wasn't finished with that yet," Laura protested with a frown, thinking of those precious four cigarettes left. Why were there so few planets that still sold cigarettes? She was the President, it shouldn't be this complicated. They had three-second cures for all of the side-effects. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get decent cigarettes these days?"

"I'm sorry. I'll get you some from Risa, you always like those." Kathryn kissed the tip of her nose, causing Laura to scrunch it up, but Kathryn just did it again. "And I'm sorry for being so unreasonable."

"Mmm, I would have said 'bitch', but unreasonable works," Laura retorted, but smiled, brushing back a lock of Kathryn's auburn hair. She was relieved that Kathryn had apologized so quickly, that she wouldn't have to go to bed alone and wasn't forced to wake up in a bad mood. That usually set the stage for a horrible day that ended with more cigarettes and a desperate need for alcohol which without a fail led to something disastrous. She did have a penchant making stupid decisions when she was feeling like shit.

"Laura, I'm trying to apologize here," Kathryn said, a little disgruntled. Laura pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She had never been able to resist Kathryn for long. She ran her fingers through Kathryn's hair, pulling her close to her as she lightly brushed her lips over the Admiral's. Kathryn's hands were still resting on her waist and she could feel their warmth through the layers of silk.

"I know you're trying to apologize and I'm grateful," Laura replied, tracing Kathryn's proud jaw-line with her forefinger, causing Kathryn to instinctively lean into her touch. She would never be able to give this up, to give up Kathryn, no matter how many times they fought and tried to get under each other's skin.

"You were trying to help. I know that. I guess I'm just not ready for it to be over. I don't want to let that part of my life go yet. I just - - I miss it. Voyager, the unknown territory, having one goal in mind. I know it's been a year, but I can't get used to this life. It's too constant, too much of the same." Kathryn had never truly come home after seven years in Delta Quadrant. Part of her was still stuck there and Laura was fairly certain it would always remain there. She knew that. She just wished that she could help Kathryn realize that.

"Next time you feel like that or if you want to lash out at me for something that was out of my control, talk to me or to Seven or the Doctor or B'Elanna. Don't pick a fight, please. All I can do is be there for you, but I cannot and will never completely understand what you and your crew went through. My resources to help you are limited. I can't change that." She ran her hands over Kathryn's bare arms, rubbing some heat back into her skin.

She could only hope that Kathryn would understand and for once take her advice. The woman had a talent for shutting other people out when she needed them most, a personality trait that sadly they both possessed. It was probably the foremost reason for their arguments; their refusal to open up about their inner turmoil and instead choosing to clam up and snap at anyone who tried to get close.

A cool hand cupped the back of her neck and pulled her head down. Laura closed her eyes and let herself be guided into their first proper kiss of the evening. She parted her lips at the first brush of Kathryn's tongue. She placed her hands on Kathryn's hips and pulled her against her body. Five days without this. She had missed this a lot. She almost sighed in disappointment when Kathryn broke the kiss and planted a tiny one on the corner of her mouth before she licked her lips.

"You taste like cigarettes," Kathryn said, brushing her thumb over Laura's bottom lip. Laura kissed the pad of her thumb and tried to hide a wince. Kathryn had stated more than once that she wasn't of fan of kissing Laura after she had smoke. She had compared it to licking out an ashtray when she had been in one of her less than romantic moods.

"I'm sorry," Laura replied, letting her head roll back when Kathryn kissed her throat, softly nipping at the delicate skin with her teeth. Laura hummed and let her hands slide down Kathryn's back until they came to rest on the swell of her ass, the silk of her nightgown smooth against her palms. She always did have trouble keeping her hands to herself when it came to Kathryn, something that had almost gotten them into a lot of trouble a few times.

"Don't be. I might not be the biggest fan, but it's very you." Laura smiled and moaned softly when Kathryn placed her lips on her pulse and sucked the skin into her mouth, creating a mark that Laura would have to heal tomorrow when she had to appear in front of the press to make the announcement together with Admiral Paris and Kathryn. It was just a formality, but it had to be done and she would prefer it not to create a small scandal by showing up with hickey. She silently thanked modern medicine for dermal regenerators.

"Still, I'll brush my teeth twice before crawling into bed with you. If you'll have me," Laura said when Kathryn pulled back, wearing a satisfied smirk at the bruise on Laura's throat.

"I will always have you, Madam President. Besides it's your bed." Laura kissed Kathryn again, quickly, holding the Admiral close to her, enjoying the way Kathryn's body felt against her own. She was glad she was going to sleep in her bed with her tonight and not alone in the guestroom.

"Details," Laura said, waving the last comment off. Kathryn had her own place, but she spent most of her nights and morning at Laura's penthouse apartment. She claimed that Laura's replicator made the best coffee in the universe and that she needed it to survive the day, which was something that Laura full-heartedly agreed with. But even if Kathryn's excuse to stay over was weak at best, Laura didn't care. She was just happy that she was here. "Let's go get some sleep."


End file.
